she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
porn star boner night. come get it.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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