yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
