absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
