This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
The dick lei will go down in squad history
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
