it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
