GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
