You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
