My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
