so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I need to calm my uterus...
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize
