im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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