You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
