What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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