We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
