so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
