That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
