:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
