My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
