turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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