I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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