But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Randomize
