remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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