the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
