is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
