She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
