i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
i out mim tonsoeep
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