I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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