Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
