I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
