as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
