My brain says no but my pants say off.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Someone signed my nipple.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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