I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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