I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
