me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
She even gives head with a lisp.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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