Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
