happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
