I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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