He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
