and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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