Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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