He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
