he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
