Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
