i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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