I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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