***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
