I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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