At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I look excited, but its just a facade.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
