That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
The power of my boobs compel you
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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