im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
