you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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