well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Randomize
